Soft Love
by Rizzy.and.Izzy
Summary: "It was a fragile, delicate solar system and Maura was careful not to disrupt it." Is Jane what Maura has been wishing for?


A crowd of people, and Maura's by herself in the corner. It's not that she's anti-social, she's just selectively social. And this is not a place she'd ever select to be.

But that sort of choice was never an option for her. As long as she can remember, her presence has always been thought of as a guarantee. An obvious plus one. Wherever the Isles' go, in Boston at least, so too goes Maura. Never out of their sight, but never too much in focus, either. She skirts the peripheral like a pro.

She's the dutiful daughter. An atypical attache.

She's a shadow.

She started doing this as a child and perfected it as an adult.

She can't stop it. So instead, she wishes for something to happen that can stop it, can change it. She wishes like a person would who doesn't even believe in wishes. Even when they think it's nothing more than a silly tradition. Still, they blow out the candles on their birthday cake without telling anyone their wish, for fear it might not come true.

What had started as a casual thing for her, quickly became a necessity.

Maura's family stopped having elaborate birthday parties for her when she was still young. It wasn't acceptable anymore, something about maturity and growing up. When she blew out the candles on her last birthday cake, she was seven.

But she still makes a wish, every year, for herself. Even though she highly doubts there's any power behind it. It was the one thing she did as a child that she refused to relinquish as an adult.

Each function, each social engagement, she is automatically expected to attend. After a while she almost feels like each one she goes to, amounts to one wish that's taken away. One wish that won't come true. A hope exchanged for the balance of the status quo. The desire to keep up appearances.

As she looks across the room, she tries to understand the people around her. Some of them family, some of them not. But foreign, all.

She does not want to be like them. They are rough, hard. Unyielding. Untouchable.

The worst part of it is, she can feel herself becoming like them anyway. Feels an almost visceral encasement starting to form around her, to keep her away from other people. The ones outside of this banquet hall. Actual people, real people. Not the priviledged few, like her, like who they want her to become. Who she is becoming.

And so she waits, for something to change. For something to show itself. For something to rescue her.

After a long while, it finally does. Only it's not something, it's someone.

She's been wishing for this every year since she was seven, wish upon wish, hope upon hope. But the answer that actually comes to her must surely have needed more. More than the accumulation of all her years. If wishes do come true, if hope is a measurable power, certainly the amount needed to create this person in front of her is more than she could have amassed.

Because to this person, Maura is not an afterthought. She is not taken for granted. For once she feels... wanted. It's everything she's ever asked for.

Maybe wishes can come true after all. Someone actually sees her, for who she is and not who they want her to be. She's not someone cast off to the side anymore. She's in the spotlight, front and center.

Maybe the world doesn't revolve around facts alone. Maybe there are things a person can't see, beyond the capabilities of a microscope, beyond what science can easily explain.

Just because a person cannot see it, does not mean it is not there.

For so long, Maura was there, but no one saw her. She started doubting if she was ever really there at all.

But then Jane saw her. Helped her see herself again. There's no doubt of her existence now.

It was like something had always been in her field of vision, but just too far off to one side for her to see it clearly. Then it finally centered itself in her eyeline and she can see what was there all along. Who was there all along. Herself.

Her family never bothered to bring her closer, bring her into focus. And so Maura could never truly see herself all that well either. It wasn't until Jane saw her. Saw her through a perfect aperture. And in doing so, Maura could finally see herself as well.

Another wonderful side effect to all of this was that Maura could see Jane too.

Maura was sure Jane had her own gravity. Controlled her own gravitational force. For along with Jane, came others. Always around her. And always in her main line of sight, never secondary. And these people slowly started to gravitate around Maura as well. It was a fragile, delicate new solar system that Maura was careful not to disrupt.

Gradually though, she learned that even a meteorite couldn't move them. Together. This group. Maura is included in these sentiments now.

She knew it would happen. Wished it would happen. Stacked all her hopes up, upon each other, year upon year. Wishing, hoping that the taller they got, the more powerful too. And she'd even found herself crossing her fingers which she never did before. Anything to break her out of the cycle she had found herself in. The cage of another's creation.

She can't quite remember when it happened. The single most important moment of her life and she can't place it. When she first met Jane. Followed by the first audible snapping of the cage that by that point, had almost completely sealed itself around her. Like when the bud of a flower breaks open and blooms. The petals and sepal give way to the blossom. Beautiful, breathtaking. Instantaneous.

And easily missed.

Maybe that's what happened. She blinked and she missed it.

She will be sure to never miss anything again. She'll never risk herself or anybody else disappearing again because she kept her eyes closed. From now on, her eyes will always be open. And if there is something she does not like seeing, she will walk away. She'll no longer stay. She'll no longer stay silent. No more the passive wallflower.

From now on, she'll take herself away from what she does not want. What she does not select, what she does not choose for herself.

From now on, she'll go towards what she does want. Who she does want to be with. The people she is around now. The people who have always seen her. They are soft, easy. So touchable.

The people from her past were hard and difficult. A questionable love. A questionable family. They are no comparison to what she has now.

The people she's around now are polar opposites to the people from her past. They are a soft kind of love. Exactly like the kind she's wished for. The type of people she always knew existed. Kind people, soft people. Real people. And this is the type of person she is becoming too.

The people from her past are just that. The people around her presently, they are her family now.

She knew all those wishes, all those hopes would one day be answered. The only real uncertainty she had about it was time. And that time, as the saying goes, is now.

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